Ruling Your Spirit

“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”  Prov. 16:32

“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”  Prov. 25:28

One of the most difficult things for a child of God to consistently do is to rule their spirit.  To rule means to have power over or to govern.  Just like a prison guard rules over an inmate by determining when he comes out of his cell and when he goes back in; so are we to rule over our spirit.  So what spirit are we trying to rule over?  It’s the spirit of the flesh.  I have heard it said, and I agree, that when a person is born again their innermost being becomes a battle ground.  Why?  Consider the following verses.  “So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.  But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.” (Romans 8:8, 9)  We can derive two things from these verses.  One is that not everyone has the Spirit of Christ in them.  The other is those without the Spirit of Christ dwelling in them are solely flesh and cannot please God in any way.  How do you get the Spirit of Christ?  God puts it there when he brings about the new birth.  “And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.” (Gal. 4:6)  Up until the point of being born again the flesh has total reign, but when the Spirit of God comes in, there are two opposing natures dwelling in the same being.  The scripture tells us in Galatians 5:17 that these two natures are contrary to one another.  They don’t get along.  One wants this, the other wants just the opposite.  Paul spoke of them in Romans the seventh chapter.  He says, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.  Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.  For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.”  What a wretched state we find ourselves in as we wait for the manifestation of the sons of God.  Our sin nature is always lurking close by, tirelessly tugging and gnawing at us.  It wars against the spiritual man that is born when the Spirit of God brings us spiritual life.  That wicked nature is what prompts us to consider ourselves first, to lash out at others in anger, and to withhold forgiveness and grace to those that have wronged us.  It’s what takes our minds away from the things that are holy and pure.  It is captivated by the sinful things around us and wants us to imitate them.  It’s what make us lust after things we shouldn’t.  It wants to keep us from reconciling with those we’ve had conflict with.  It very subtly pushes us toward worldly gain while keeping us blind to the more important things we are forsaking.  This nature wants to rule over us.

The battle we face is disciplining that nature and keeping it under subjection to the spiritual man that dwells in us.  It can be very hard at times.  The Bible tells us that a man that is able to rule his spirit is greater than a mighty warrior that can take a city.  It also tells us the man that doesn’t rule his spirit will be open and vulnerable to the attacks of Satan.

I try to teach our children that we can place ourselves in situations that make it much more difficult to rule our spirit.  The simplest examples I use are being tired or hungry.  It is so much easier to stay cheerful and kind to those around us when we are rested and full.  Let fatigue and an empty stomach come upon us and for many, including myself, we aren’t nearly as quick to let that gentle spirit shine forth.  If you don’t believe that just hang out with an infant for a while.

As they grow I will expand the list of things that make it difficult to rule our spirit.  Some of the things I will tell them are as follows…

Be very careful of the outside influences in your life.  Don’t hang out with the wrong crowd.  With enough exposure and time, the influence of the ungodly can severely weaken our awareness of the presence of the flesh, for “evil communications corrupt good manners”. (1 Cor. 15:33)  It’s a rare individual who doesn’t slowly become like those he hangs around most often.  I’m not saying walk around with your nose in the air.  There’s a difference between fellowshipping with them on neutral ground and being part of their crowd.  You know the difference; so do I.  Another outside influence to be careful of is what you listen to and what you watch.  Exposing yourself repeatedly to something has a way of desensitizing you to it.  “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” (Col. 3:2) I can promise you Satan loves television, radio, and computers.  Outside influences can slowly take the sting away from sinful things.  It is impossible to rule the spirit of your flesh if you lose the ability to recognize it when it shows itself.

Prayerfully groan to the Lord before you marry someone.  Seek the counsel of those godly people that know you best for “in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” (Prov. 11:14).  An unhealthy marriage is a fast track to letting your flesh rule your thoughts and actions.  Few things bring out the selfishness in a person quicker than a divided marriage.

Earnestly seek the Lord before choosing a career.  Jobs are stressful, some more than others.  What one person can handle with minimal stress would push another over the edge.  Stress will feed the flesh inside us and make it all the more difficult to rule our spirits.  Know what stresses you out.  Avoid it if you can.  Even if it means less money, less prestige, and doing something less than what you desire. 

Study God’s word.  It is essential in helping keep the flesh at bay.  We are to cast down “imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5)  How can we bring our thoughts into captivity?  By imprisoning them with scripture.

Be a part of a true God fearing, gospel preaching church.  They all claim to be but aren’t.  Seek the scriptures in what the church should look like and what its purpose should be.  Band yourself together with that body when you find it.  For we are not to forsake “the assembling of ourselves together” (Heb. 10:25).  I have always found true worshippers to be contagious.  When they did right, it made me want to.  Having godly brothers and sisters surrounding you will be paramount in your battle against the flesh.  If there were no benefit to assembling with God’s people, I dare say the Lord wouldn’t have commanded it.

Don’t fall in love with money for “they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.” (1 Tim. 6:9)  If money is the driving force for you, expect a difficult time ruling your spirit.  It has a way of blinding men’s eyes.  They often don’t realize it until much damage has been done.

Don’t become an addict.  There are things available in the world, some legal, some illegal, that have a way of stimulating you.  Avoid the illegal ones and approach the legal ones with caution.  We have a way of becoming dependent upon these and don’t feel ourselves without them.  If you can’t ward of irritability and a sour attitude without a stimulant, do your best to leave it alone.  You may find yourself unable to obtain it and the end result will be a day with the flesh leading the way.  Sometimes they’re necessary though; know when that is.

Don’t take on more than you can handle; learn to say no.  It’s okay to have free time.  It’s okay to have nothing to do for a while.  Juggling a bucketful of extracurricular activities will leave your head spinning.  Keep life simple.  Running yourself ragged is a surefire way to make it more difficult to rule the spirit of your flesh.  But don't be idle.  Know the difference between the two.

There will be things you can’t control that will call out the spirit of your flesh.  You’ll find yourself in a traffic jam or the victim of identity theft.  It may be a co-worker that knows how to push your buttons.  Those things are harder to control.  Do the best you can and beg the Lord for the strength to keep the flesh from coming out.  Sometimes I take the long way home because the short way forces me to drive by the place where everybody throws their trash out on the side of the road.  It aggravates me.  I get home frustrated.  So, I go the long way as to not give an occasion to the flesh to put me in bad mood.

Our flesh raises its ugly head day after day.  It coaxes our mind into entertaining unhealthy thoughts.  It spews anger and gossip out of our mouths.  It beckons us to put ourselves first and move to the front of the line.  It convinces us we are victims and we are obligated.  It will drive us to make more and spend more just so you can have something others will lust over.  It stirs up jealousy inside us.  It makes us want to defile the marriage bed.  It makes us gravitate towards everything that is contrary to God.

The Spirit of God dwelling in us wants us to love one another.  It wants us to be joyful and at peace.  It wants us to be longsuffering with those around us.  It wants us to be gentle, good, meek, and temperate.  It wants us to have faith in things we can’t see.

There is a battle inside every born again child of God.  Put the flesh and the things of it in subjection to the Spirit of God.  Rule your spirit, don’t let it rule you.

What I'll Tell My Children if They Ask Me About Salvation

I have had a few people tell me over the years that their children were asking questions about God and salvation.  Sometimes those people ask me what I’d tell my children when they start asking.  I think they expect me to start talking about the “sinner’s prayer” or “accepting Jesus” or “giving your heart to God”.  I think they want to get my opinion of how old a child needs to be before they can “really mean it”. 

So what would I tell mine?

I’d start by asking them about an apple tree.  I’d ask them if they saw a tree that had apples hanging on the branches, what type of tree they’d think that’d be.  I’m hoping they would say, “An apple tree!”  I’d show them that the fruit that is hanging on the limbs identifies the tree.  Apple trees produce apples, and if you see an apple there is no need to strain your mind or seek out the wisdom of the wise to help you identify the tree.  The fruit doesn’t lie.

I’d then show them that the bible compares the Spirit of God to a tree that produces fruit.  However, the Spirit of God doesn’t produce the kind of fruit that an apple tree does.  Galatians 5:22 and 23 tells us what kind of fruit the Spirit produces. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”  In the same way that an apple tree produces an apple, the Spirit of God produces these nine fruit.  An apple unmistakably identifies an apple tree and these fruit identify the Spirit of God.

I’d explain to them that when a person is ‘born again’ the Lord places his Spirit inside of them.  I’d show them what Galatians 4:6 says.  “And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.”  I’d teach them that, according to this verse, the reason he places his Spirit inside of you is because you ARE a child of God.  They may wonder how they became his child.  I’d show them Eph. 1:4,5 “According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will”.  I would explain to them that in the same way that they didn’t have to do anything to become my child, neither do they have to do anything to become his.  It was the desire and effort of another that brought them into this world.  A child is never born by their own desire or effort, neither are God’s children. “Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” (John 1:13)  The Spirit that God placed in the hearts of his sons and daughters is the same Spirit that produces the fruit mentioned in Galatians.

I’d ask them if they see those fruit in their life (chances are if they see the bearing of these fruit, I’ve already seen it in them too).  I’d specifically ask them about the fruit of faith.  Do they believe in creation even though they weren’t there to witness it?  What about the flood or the account of Jesus’s birth?  Do they believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and was resurrected even though they weren’t there to see it?  If those answers are yes; that is an exercise of faith, which can only be produced by the Spirit of God.  This Spirit, bringing forth the fruit of faith, is what allows us to believe in those things we never were eyewitnesses of.

I’d ask them if they, through the eye of faith, believe that Jesus is who the Bible tells us he is.  I’d ask if they believed that they are a sinner and the blood of Jesus paid for their sins.  I’d ask if they had a bad feeling when they did wrong and a desire to do right.  If the answer is yes to those questions I’d assure them that the only way they could truly feel that way is if the Spirit of God was already dwelling in their heart and mind because the “…the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Cor. 2:14).  I’d rejoice with them that the evidence was there that they were God’s child and had been born again by his Spirit.

I would make sure they understood that nothing is required of them to secure their eternity.  There is no petitioning to the Lord that needs to be done to ensure their eternal salvation.  The evidence of his Spirit dwelling in them is the confirmation that he has already done the work.  It is the “earnest of our inheritance” (Eph. 1:14).  The fact that they feel a desire and need to be saved is evidence they already are. 

I cannot boast in my efforts as a parent to ‘lead them to the Lord’, nor can they boast in their ‘good decision’.  If we glory, we will glory in the Lord.  We can boast in the Lord because he saw fit to make them part of his family.  He saw fit to do a work in their life and at HIS appointed time sent the Spirit into their heart making them a new creature and beckoning to them to call him Father.

We will also talk about the responsibility of a born again child of God to follow him.  We will talk about things they need to do because they have been born again; things like repenting of their sins, confessing him as Christ, and following him in obedience.  We will talk about the dangers of disobedience.  We will talk about seeking him throughout their life…leaning on his wisdom…drawing comfort from him in affliction… and praising him for the greatest blessing of their life in Him making them his own. 

That is what I would tell them.  Too many times we tell those children that are asking about God, “Oh look, there are apples hanging on you…would you like to become an apple tree?”